As Christians, we are to be praying about everything. (Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7) and the beautiful thing about being a follower of Christ is that we don’t have to walk through life alone. This means marriage as well. Too many couples give up on their marriage because they think there is no way to fix it. But there is. Husbands and wives, surrender your relationship to Christ and watch things change. Marriage is a gift from God and we are to always work at glorifying Him through our marriage. Both husbands and wives should be praying for their spouse daily. But what is even more wonderful than taking time each day to pray for your spouse, is to be praying with them.
After creating “A Month of Intentional Prayers for Your Husband” several years ago and having great feedback and praise on it, I wanted to get even deeper with it and came up with, “A Month of Praying Together; for husbands and wives.” My hope is to get husbands and wives to set aside some intentional time each day to pray together. Whether it’s first thing in the morning or the last thing you do before bed. All that matters, is that you are consistent and dedicated to this month together with you and God. I want to provide you with a prayer prompt each day to get your conversation going. Some days the prayer prompts will be harder and more intense, and my hope is that this will help you be open and honest in areas that you might not already be communicating about.
Each day as you do these prayer prompts, take at least 15 minutes together in a quiet place without interruptions, meaning no cell phones, no tv, no emailing work clients….just you and your spouse and God. Read the prayer prompt and then pray together. Ask each other questions or share your thoughts or anything on your heart that the prayer prompt may have brought up.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5:25-27
Day 1: Take today, the first day of your month of praying together to thank God for each other. You may not be feeling all “lovey dovey” and thankful for your spouse today but set aside those feelings and take time to pray out loud together today, uninterrupted. Each of you should think of at least one thing that you are thankful for about your spouse and thank God out loud for that. Bonus points if it’s something that you don’t often say to them. Take a minute to talk together and decide out loud to dedicate a month of giving your relationship to God.
Day 2: Pray and ask God to guard you and your husband’s hearts, mind and eyes from the lies of the enemy. Let me tell you. He is going to try every thing possible to attack your relationship during this month. The enemy hates when we trust God and he will be working hard at convincing you that God isn’t to be trusted with your relationship. Pray hard against this. God has the power to conquer all. The devil only has the power YOU give him. Don’t forget that!
Day 3: Pray to see your spouse through God’s eyes. Each of you hold hands and pray together and ask God to help you see each other through His eyes. Ask Him to help you see the good and Godly things your spouse brings to your relationship, rather than the bad things that are often so easy to get focused on.
Day 4: Pray for your relationship with Jesus. Both of you should be praying to deepen your relationship with Christ each day. Today, be praying for each other’s relationship with Him. No pointing fingers or thinking you have a stronger prayer life or relationship with God. Pray that you would both would be able to fully trust not only your relationship to God but your life and your expectations for your marriage.
Day 5: Husbands, pray that you have a strong desire to walk with God daily and to be a Godly head of the house. Wives, submit yourselves to your husband’s lead. I know this is hard to submit, but it is imperative to let your husband know you fully trust and support him to lead your family in Christ. Pray together today that you are both thankful for and ready to fully embrace the individual roles that God has given each of you for your marriage.
Day 6: Pray together for your roles as husband and wife. This goes along with yesterday’s prayer. Pray today that you as the husband are always looking to God for His will in your life and marriage and not to your own desires. Pray as the wife that you will submit to your husband’s lead and not try to control things that you are not meant to. Remember that God designed these roles as His perfect design for family and these roles as Godly husband and wife which compliment each other when put into practice.
Day 7: Today’s prompt might be a little harder. Pray together for your husband’s family. (your in-laws) You may all get along wonderfully, or things might be hard between you guys. Maybe your husband isn’t talking to his side of the family. Either way, pray together for whatever your situation is and pray for them, selflessly. If they aren’t Christians, pray that they would soften their hearts to hear the Lord and become Christ followers. If your husband isn’t speaking to them. Pray that God mends their broken relationship. It may be hard, but whatever you do, don’t let yourselves get angry or frustrated today with this prayer prompt.
Day 8: Today we are praying for your (the wive’s) family. Same as yesterday. Regardless of your relationship with them or your husband’s feelings about them, pray selflessly for them. For broken relationships to be mended. For them to become Christians if they aren’t. For whatever you know you need to be praying about for them.
Day 9: Pray today for your husband’s job. Whether he is a CEO, a farmer or a construction worker, pray that he always works as though he is working for the Lord. Thank God for providing a job for him and for income for your family. Husbands, if you want to pray about something specifically about your job with your wife today, do it. Don’t keep secrets! If there is something wrong at your job or perhaps there is a chance you may lose your job, don’t sit quietly. Pray about it together!
Day 10: Pray about your friendships. That you both would choose Godly friendships that help you draw closer to the Lord. And that you both would never make decisions while out with friends that would jeopardize your marriage. Also pray that you both are a good friend to others.
Day 11: Today is another hard one. This might be hard to do if you two are newly married, or maybe you guys haven’t opened up about past hurt. Anything from something small to a big, traumatic event. Today is the day to pray together for healing. Ask God to help you both heal from any hurt in your past and that you would be able to forgive the person who hurt you. If it is your spouse who hurt you, try not to bring up the issue in detail and let it cause more pain. That is what the enemy would want. But instead, openly speak about the hurt and pray together that God would heal your hurt and to heal whatever caused your spouse to hurt you. If this is something from your past and not about each other and it is too hard to talk about, you don’t have to get into detail. But don’t skip over today. Just pray in general for God to heal you both from your past hurt; physically, emotionally or spiritually and that you both would be able to live in the freedom we have in Christ as a new creation.
Day 12: Pray for each other’s confidence. Maybe one of you are reading this thinking, my husband or my wife is extremely confident. We don’t need to pray about this. But I’m not talking about someone who is sure of themselves because on the outside they are attractive. ;) I am talking about truly knowing your worth is found ONLY in Christ and who HE says you are. Today pray together that you both would know your worth is from Christ. Ask God to help you both look to Him, not looks, money or status or any things of this world to give you confidence.
Day 13: Pray together for your relationship. That you would both desire to fall deeper in love with each other each day. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 5 years or 50 years. We are about two weeks into praying through the month and maybe you feel like things are going well, but maybe you’re feeling hopeless, or angry or frustrated with the lack of results. I encourage you two to keep Christ at the center of your marriage. I know that is something you have probably heard a thousand times, but truly you need Him to be at the center holding things together. Pray that you both would see each other through God’s eyes and that you would love each other with an unconditional love, as He first loved us.
Day 14: Pray for you both to be bold in your faith. If you know somewhere you need to be more bold in your faith, share it and ask your spouse to pray for you. Perhaps you need to be more bold in your faith at work or in your group of friends. Wherever it is, pray about it together.
Day 15: Pray to be quick to forgive. Today’s prompt shouldn’t cause you guys to bring up past arguments and dwell on that. But instead it should help you guys resolve any resentment and help you to forgive each other and move forward. Holding on to resentment only eats away at us and causes us to be bitter. It doesn’t solve anything. Ask God to help you both be able to forgive and forget in your marriage and not to hold a grudge towards one another.
Day 16: Pray for your physical intimacy together. That you both would honor your commitment to your marriage and the marriage bed and that you both would grow stronger in love each day. Ask God to help you both keep your eyes on each other and not to let them wander. This should be a daily prayer, because the enemy is always trying to turn our eyes from God and from our spouse in a Christ centered marriage.
Day 17: Pray about your honesty today. If one of you feels like the other lied (or maybe it was confirmed and you have lost trust in your spouse.) Don’t let today’s prayer prompt bring up your hurt and anger, and cause you to get mad and not pray together. Instead, pray that you are able to fully trust your spouse again. And the spouse who lied should pray that God helps them always stay faithful and honest to their spouse. Ask that God helps you both have a desire to always be truthful and honest in your marriage and that you wouldn’t lie or keep things from each other. Ask God to help you both be virtuous and a man/woman of their word.
Day 18: Ask God to help you both lean on God’s strength and not your own. Pray that you both choose to seek God’s strength in trying times, rather than thinking you can do it all on your own. Pray that you both are able to put aside your pride and ask each other for help when you need it. You are together for a reason. You don’t need to carry the burdens of life on your own. Asking for help or prayer isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength.
Day 19: Today is going to be a hard one. It might be the hardest one yet. So I am already praying for you, anyone who is doing this month of prayer that today is a day you are able to be set free from the chains of addiction. Today’s prayer prompt is, pray that you are able to break free from any addiction you may have. Maybe you’re drinking too much and you know it but your spouse hasn’t said anything in awhile so you think you’re fine. Or maybe you are really caught up pornography and it is tearing your relationship apart. Whatever the addiction is, whether your spouse knows about it or not, you need to fully surrender it to God today before it’s too late.
Day 20: If you are still doing these prayer prompts together, I am so proud of you both! Marriage is a beautiful thing designed by God and there are going to be good days and bad days. That is a guarantee. But you both should be fully committed to both God and each other so that you never give up. Today ask God to help you both find peace and joy in Jesus. If you both are dedicated to Christ and finding your peace and joy in Him first, you won’t be as easily tempted to get upset with your spouse when they “let you down.” When we look to others to make us happy, we will almost always be disappointed. Look to Christ for your joy and peace and not to your husband or wife to make you “happy.”
Day 21: Pray that you both would be Godly parents to your children. Ask God to help you live out your life as a man and woman of God, so that your children see that daily and desire to walk with Christ as well. If you don’t have children you can take today to pray for the children in your lives and that you would be a Godly example to them.
Day 22: Pray to have humility. Ask God to help you be humble in all things and know that anything good in your life is from Him. Being prideful causes problems because you think you have it all together. You think that you are the reason you have money, nice things or success in your career. But humility is knowing that you only have anything because of the grace of God. Pray that you both have a humble spirit and know every good and perfect gift is from God.
Day 23: Pray for your health. Both physically and emotionally. Now husbands and wives, this isn’t a time to point fingers at each other if one of you is physically more in shape or if one of you is more emotionally immature. (this can mean anything from being angry, to anxious or depressed.) Pray for each other and for yourself to be healthy in all aspects of life. Pray that you are eating like you love yourself and exercising and taking care of the body you were given. And ask God to help you not be controlled by your emotions, so that you are emotionally mature and able to address things in life and your marriage maturely, not in an emotional fit.
Day 24: Pray about your finances. That you both are good stewards of your money. This may be hard and bring up a fight, money has a funny way about causing arguments. But don’t let it. Instead work together through prayer and communication on how to be wise with the money God has blessed you with. Whether that is a lot or a little. Our money is God’s and we should be using it to glorify him.
Day 25: Today I want you guys to open the lines of communication and pray together about anything you are personally dealing with. Pray about your situation together and ask God to help you get through your trial victoriously. It will strengthen your relationship the more you put your trust in each other and the more you let down your walls and open the lines of communication with each other.
Day 26: Pray that you both would be protected from the lies of the enemy. It isn’t a matter of “if it will happen.” It’s a matter of when. Because we know the enemy is looking to destroy anything and everything of God. And our marriage as Christ followers is definitely a target. Pray that you are able to see the lies and temptations clearly as they come that they are from satan, and not from God. Pray that God gives you the strength to walk away and not to be tempted. Not all temptation will look the same. Unfortunately satan knows your weakness and will prey on that. So be alert, stay in prayer and don’t try to go at it alone.
Day 27: Pray that you two have a strong desire to spend time together and make each other feel loved and desired. Ask God to help you selflessly love your spouse and learn how to show them love in the way they desire. If your spouse wants to spend time together, spend time together. Do something they enjoy doing. If your spouse needs to hear verbally that they are loved, tell them. Treat your spouse as you want to be treated. Let them know daily how loved and appreciated they are.
Day 28: Pray for your future together. Pray that you two would always make decisions that will bless not harm your future together. Take time to talk about your future together. If you are newly married, that might be about buying a house or starting a family. If you’ve been together for many years, that might be what you want to do when the kids are out of the house and you retire. Dream together and pray that you love and honor your marriage until the day you die.
I hope this month has been a blessing. I am praying for every husband and wife who has decided to take a month and give it to God. For everyone who has prayed together and not given up. I hope you see God’s hand in your marriage and I hope that you both fell deeper in love with each other and with God.
xo, Elizabeth