Most people hold some sort of resentment towards someone. We have all at one point in our lives been hurt by someone either physically or emotionally. Some hurt feels too big to forgive. Some hurt too personal. Maybe you were hurt by a family member, and you can’t imagine forgiving what they did. Or maybe you tried to make the first step in reconciling your relationship, only to find out that the other person wasn’t taking blame for their part so it just became easier to move on without that person in your life.
We have all gotten angry and said things that caused us and the people involved to be hurt. Maybe everyone walked away in a civilized manner after apologizing thinking that was the “right thing to do” but in reality you still are holding onto resentment. But sometimes saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t happen. So how do we forgive someone that isn’t sorry? How about the woman who was sexually assaulted in her teenage years. She carried the pain and scars for years into her adult life, but then one day surrendered it to the Lord because she decided to forgive him even though he was not sorry. The Lord tells us to forgive them even if they are not sorry. Because forgiveness is about your healing. It’s not for the other person to feel better. ;) We forgive because the Lord forgives us.
Trust me when I say, I know how hard it is to forgive someone that has wronged you. I know how hard it is to forgive someone who was not sorry and will never be sorry for what they did, but God wants us to. When we pray about the situation and ask God to help us truly forgive the person who hurt you, it is then that we are able to see that person and the situation through God’s eyes. It will not change what happened, especially if it was a very painful situation. But it will change your heart and that is what matters.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
We really only have two choices when we were wronged. We can either hold in the anger and resentment which will eventually become toxic to our health, both mentally and physically. Or we can be Christ-like and forgive them, even if they are not sorry. Go to God. Pray and tell Him about your situation (even though he already knows) and let Him speak to your heart and lead you. Ask Him to forgive you for your part if you had something to do with the situation (if you were abused or assaulted, please forgive yourself. It was NOT your fault!) and then ask God to heal your heart and let you forgive the person who wronged you. Let go and let Him take over from there. Do not take it back once you lay it at His feet. You will feel freedom when you let Him heal the situation.
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
Don’t just forgive the other person. Forgive yourself for all your past sins and mistakes. Sometimes we let our past dictate our future and we feel unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness, but that is not what He wants for us! You are worthy of God’s goodness and blessings. Don’t let the enemy tell you otherwise. He wants to make you feel worthless and dirty and that you are not deserving of God’s love and forgiveness, but you are! Jesus died for you to know that! He died for you to be free from all your sins when you seek Him. If we forgive ourselves, we are less likely to make the same mistakes again and we are more likely to continue down the right path. The Lord has forgiven us the moment we repent and seek His forgiveness so please don’t let the enemy tell you otherwise.
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
I pray that you find peace and comfort in these words. I hope if you have been carrying past hurt from a friendship, relationship or family situation, that you can finally forgive those who have wronged you. Even if it is something that feels too big to forgive. I get that, trust me I do. But I know that NOTHING is too big for God to handle. So lay it at His feet today and let Him take care of it. Don’t carry it into the new year. Let go and let God!
xo, Elizabeth