Comparison is a Jerk

Comparison. He’s a jerk. But seriously, don’t you think so? ;)  Sometimes we get so caught up in “creating the perfect life” that we forget to just LIVE our life. We try to create a life that is pleasing to look at from an outsider’s view. But ask yourself, are you making the view for all involved on the inside as pleasing? Think about that for a minute. It is way too easy to start comparing our lives to other people’s. (strangers on the internet, or people you see without truly knowing anything about them.) We get ideas in our head of what our lives (and ourselves) “should look like” and then we forget what living a good life truly means.   

Comparison is the thief of joy. I know you’ve heard this a million times, but have you ever stopped to think about what it truly means to compare your life to others? You might be comparing without even knowing. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if YOU are living the comparison life? Go with me here for a minute. You open up Instagram and see a picture of “a friend” announcing her engagement. You are a single woman. You don’t have a boyfriend so there is no proposal or dream wedding in your near future. You start thinking about your last boyfriend. You wonder why it ended. You start questioning your looks. Your job. Your life. You leave a (not so authentic) “Congratulations, I am SO HAPPY for you!” comment then quickly scroll past. Now, do you think that is comparing? YES! You are comparing your relationship or past relationship to hers, without knowing ANYTHING about what is going on behind the scenes. That is natural, yes….but so unhealthy for your mind and for your faith.

Do you believe that God, the creator of the universe has perfect timing and nothing but the best intentions for you? If so, then STOP letting yourself get caught up in other people’s lives and let your faith shine. To the single woman mentioned above. Fast forward a few years. God brings you the man of your dreams. You are married and have a child. This is not a fairy tale. This is REAL. This is what it looks like to let go and let God write your story!!

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Social media is wonderful. It is also horrible for the self-esteem of the average person. Now don’t give me wrong, social media is not the only place comparing happens, but it way too easy to start picking apart ourselves, our relationships and our lives when comparing them to little snippets we see of people we don’t really know. But there are wonderful things about social media. I mean, I love it. I run a ministry on social media. Actually, Grace in His Beauty is only on Instagram. I never wanted to join Facebook and start looking back at old friends, co-workers and school mates and wonder if  “I am doing better/worse than them.”–I put that in quotes, because I know I am living my BEST life because I am living the life that God has designed for ME. He has blessed me SO VERY richly with the most supportive and loving, Godly husband and the sweetest, most precious son. I truly couldn’t ask for two more perfect people in my life! Sorry I went off on a tangent there, but really it’s how I feel. And you should feel the same way about who/what you have been blessed with in your life!!

When we compare, we are telling God that we aren’t happy with who HE made us. He has a plan and a purpose for all of us. And trust me when I say, I know that God does NOT make mistakes. We all look different. Talk different. We have different goals, hopes and dreams. And different talents and abilities to go along with those. Your life is NOT going to look like anyone else’s because you are NOT them. You may have the same passions and business ideas as someone else, but your business/ministry/life will not be exactly like theirs and you know what? That’s ok. That’s more than ok! That’s how God planned it to be. God created us all with different talents and abilities so that we can work together and be stronger women for the body of Christ. So let’s cheer each others on with a genuine love.  Let’s bring our talents and all work together for the Lord. Philippians 2:4 is one of my favorite verses and the Message says it so beautifully. 

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care-then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Philippians 2:4

So now what? You may be asking yourself. Start with asking yourself- if you are living the life you want to be living. Now don’t get carried away with what you start daydreaming about. Be realistic. If you are a single woman who wants to be married, I’m not telling you to go out and grab a guy to marry tomorrow. And if you are starting out in your business or on social media, don’t expect your success to hit overnight. Understand that all things take time….BUT know this. God’s timing is perfect, so trust Him and work on what YOU can work on in the meantime to love your life. The life that He has so richly blessed you with!

Here are a few tips for creating a healthy mind and lifestyle so that hopefully you don’t feel the need to start comparing your life to anyone else’s.

 

Creating a Happy, Healthy Mindset.

  1. FIRST thing when you wake up, THANK God for your day.
  2. Drink a big glass of water before your coffee, smoothie or anything else.
  3. Open up the windows, let the light and fresh air in!
  4. Read the Bible. Ask God to share with you a verse for the week and focus on that verse each day through out the week. Write that verse out and post it where you can see it.
  5. Focus on your blessings! Your family. Your job. Your business. Your children. Your friends. Whatever is a positive part of your life, FOCUS on that!!
  6. Keep a clean house. A clean house equals a clean mind. Keep things organized and you will be less stressed and hopefully less likely to mindlessly scroll through social media comparing yourself and your life to others.
  7. If you find yourself unhappy with something in your life, that you are able to change (change it!) If it is something that can not be changed, as God to help you deal with it.
  8. Ask God to let you see yourself and the life He has blessed you with, through His eyes.
  9. Pray. Pray. Pray. 

 

I hope this post is a blessing to you! If so, I’d love to hear. And if you know someone you think might enjoy reading it, please pass it on!

xo,

Elizabeth

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